Break the chains that society has you bond by. That’s the goal. That’s the plan. Something that for most people is impossible. You have to be strong and united. Not easily fooled by the perception of beauty. Your beauty does not look lie mine. My beauty is divine and gorgeous. Don’t not hate on me, hate on yourself. Why don’t you love yourself as much as me. I love myself, I must keep telling myself. Don’t fall into those traps. The traps that society set. Can I be me and be beautiful, while you continue to do you. I love me for me and I love you for you. As A culture we must learn to to love ourselves like no other would. Nobody will love me as much as I love myself. But I don’t love myself with all my flaws. I see the holes in my body. So many unfilled holes that I must learn to fill. Some way somehow, I pray to God that He helps me. I can’t do this on my own. I’m sick of crying at night, holding myself, asking myself why. Why do I continue to do the same things over and over again. Same set up, just a different guy. It feels like deja vu. Repeating the same day over and over again. It’s sickening and irritating. I wished I could stop the viscous cycle. Spining me around and around. Banging my head on all the walls. When is this cycle going to take me out. Will it be the end of me. I must not let it take me out. Can’t let it get the best of you, they say. Don’t let your bad out weigh the good, Everybody has a bad day. But tomorrow is a brighter day, they say. Where is my brighter day. Am I not deserving enough.
-Jamekea S. Lee
My years through middle school and high school were very stressful at times. I wasn’t comfortable with who I was because my skin wasn’t smooth and clear. I had many blemishes, scars, acne all over my face, chest and back, and I had a an excessive sweating problem. I used to wear shirts that would cover up most of my top and arms because I didn’t want people to see my acne. However, even though I would shirts to had my acne they would only make my excessive sweating more visible. For the longest time I was conflicted on what problem I wanted to hide more but whatever problem I chose to hide people still noticed.
People would still look and ask questions like why you sweat so much, what’s wrong with you body and all I could say was that I had a lot of medical problems because I had no other answers. So to hide everything I would wear sweaters and jackets all the time and when they asked why I would say because I was cold. However, that only worked for so long because my body started to get easily and I used to faint and pass out so I started wearing crop tops and shirts without sleeves because it would help with my excessive sweating but it would make my acne more noticeable. And people would start talking about my body again.
However, after a while I became fed up with what over people was saying about my body. I began to realize that my body wasn’t perfect and was never going to be perfect so I might as well learn to love myself for who I was because it’s who I’m going to be forever. Even though the process was hard and difficult because people who I thought was my friends continued to talk and my problem, I found people who shared common problems with me and they’re helping my love myself even more.
-Jamekea S. Lee
Sometimes I just sit back and wonder,
Wonder if I wasn’t born,
Will life be the same ?
Sometimes I wonder,
Am I important to this life ?
Am I needed ?
I wonder if I die
How will it affect others ?
In my mind I want to die,
In my heart I want to live !
Am I suicidal?
Am I crazy ?
I know we have our ups and downs,
But is my downs taking over ?
When I sit back and think it all through,
I realize that I am apart of a family that cares !
I am wanted !
I am loved !
I am special !
I am somebody that people want me to be somebody !
I have a part in people hearts
That wants me to accomplish !
So I hear by today,
That I am somebody special !
I will not let my lows
Over take my highs !
I will not let bad things,
Out do good !
Because I sit back and think about it,
Am I apart of a caring family ?
Am I loved by people who care ?
Am I needed ?
I know for a fact that I’m here for a reason !